Updated February 8, 2025.

You’ve been trolled you’ve been trolled you’ve probably been trolled

– Song that my kids sing, not sure where they got it from.

I knew Trump’s cabinet would be bad. His only criterion for nominating people is loyalty to him. He didn’t look at Project 2025 for his nominees, instead he sourced the list from the Onion. It feels like he’s taking the piss but unfortunately I think he’s deadly serious.

Confirmed

I’m mostly going to focus on the more controversial nominees here: the fascists, conspiracy kooks and wreckers. Anyone who is more reasonable and received bipartisan support will be skipped.

Defense - Pete Hedgseth

Fox News TV host. Was in the National Guard but quit over political differences. The difference being he’s a neo-Nazi and has the tattoos to prove it! The armed forces don’t like extremists of any flavor in their ranks.

Department of Government Efficiency - Elon Musk & Vivek Ramaswamy

It’s not a real department, and they won’t go to a Senate vote but I’m putting them under confirmed because they are already trying to take over the government, illegally interfering in the running and private data of numerous department.

Musk is an internet troll who no one would care about if he wasn’t mega-wealthy. And I’m not sure the latter is a good reason to listen to him either given he’s a Nazi.

Ramaswamy is a tech bro with a failed presidential run. To steal another internet user’s quip: “Nothing says goverment efficiency like having two department heads”.

A better name would be Department of Crony Capitalism. Musk’s companies already benefit from government contracts and subsidies. A huge conflict of interest if he also sets policy.

Ambassador to Israel - Mike Huckabee

I’m not sure why this role was one of the first announcements. A strange priority to name this role for someone who ran on the platform of America first.

Someone who is an extremist in their support for Israel. There will be more Palestinian and Lebanese civilian deaths and suffering caused by an administration that shares his one-sided views.

Secretary of State - Marco Rubio

The most qualified of the batch. I assumed Trump was going to go with one of these adults who can’t name a single country.

Office of Budget and Management - Russel Vought

One of the writers of Project 2025. He’ll be able to lead the country’s descent into Fascism from this role.

During Trump’s first term, Vought pushed to reclassify tens of thousands of federal workers as political appointees, which could then enable mass dismissals.

Vought has also been a proponent of the president using “impoundment” to expand the executive branch’s control over federal spending.

– AP News

If you believed Trump’s claim that he didn’t know anything about Project 2025 he has some sneakers, a bible, a guitar and cryptocurrency to sell you!

Attorney General - Pam Bondi

Prior to heading the Justice Department, Pam Bondi was Attorney General of Florida. During a reelection campagin she dropped an investigation into Trump University – remember, our president’s fraudulent real estate training course – after he made a donation to her campagin. Textbook corruption, but no one kept a receipt saying it was a quid pro quo so it doesn’t count in a court of law.

Be prepared for the weaponization of the Justice Department to persecute the president’s political opponents.

Homeland Security - Kristi Noem

She knows how to shoot a puppy, she should be in charge of defending the country!

Pending

Director of National Intelligence - Tulsi Gabbard

Conspiracy theorist, who pushes pro-Russian conspiracies. In charge of US intelligence.

Health Secretary - Robert F Kennedy

An anti-vaxxer and all-round nutjob in charge of healthcare. In this role he would also be in charge of the FDA and he’s anti-preservative - you know those chemicals that mean your food doesn’t make you sick and are highly regulated.

I guess he needed to be given some reward for dropping out of the presidential race and endorsing Trump.

Director of the FBI - Kash Patel

He has a grudge against Joe Biden and other democrats, repeats lies about election fraud in 2020 and wrote some weird children’s book descibing QAnon conspiracy theories.

Medicare and Medicaid - Dr Mehmet Oz

Earlier in his career he was actually a doctor. But he’s best known for playing a doctor on TV but his real job on the show was a salesman for dubious supplements.

Dishonorable Mentions

Attorney General - Matt Gaetz

• Not qualified.
• Extremist political views.
• Helped instigate the attempted insurrection on Jan 6, 2021.

Had a lingering house ethics committee investigation for alleged sex trafficking and showing pictures of nude women to staff and coworkers. His nomination was timed to allow him to quit congress days before the ethics committee were going to publish their report.

The investigation by the justice department was dropped but his friend went to jail for the charge so it seems more likely it was dropped due to lack of evidence rather than his innocence.

Anyway he dropped out of the running when it was obvious he didn’t have the support of Senate Republicans.